


i will keep you warm; save you from the storm

by toskyewardandbeyond



Series: i'll be up to watch the world [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: basically a look into my best brotp, because i am a poor soul who has no idea what to do with her feels, maybe 'always' will be our 'i love you', with the addition of my favorite musician
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toskyewardandbeyond/pseuds/toskyewardandbeyond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he makes her promise to come to him when things get too hard, when she starts to struggle, when she feels her chest tighten and she loses her breath. </p><p>he hates for her to be anything less than okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will keep you warm; save you from the storm

_you may say you're walking all by yourself_

_have no one else_

_your life is deadly like a loaded gun_

_and you're shaking, love_

────

 

when she first walks into the station, with a sassy smirk and wit to match, he is all talk. he's all words, nothing but the sounds leaving his mouth, laced with ~~confidence~~  arrogance and ~~ease~~  ignorance.

she doesn't exactly strike him down - puts him in his place, definitely.

but she also refuses to let things get to his head.

and he needs that.

[he won't admit to it, because again, he is all words, and even though he has actions that define his worth and many saved lives, he is _young_ and _bold_ and _b r a v e_  and one day that will be his death.]

but. she moves in with him.

it's the beginning of one of the best times of his life.

 

────

 

he thought it'd be different, living with a woman.

even more so when it's not someone he can hook up with.

but actually, _actually_ , this leslie shay could give any past roommate of his a run for their money.

because, yeah, there are days when they watch nothing but trash tv and have a coffee table full of junk food.

she drinks beer. _beer_.

and hell if he doesn't appreciate the women she brings over.

sure, they argue on dinner and who gets the first morning shower, and okay, _yes_ , they don't see eye to eye all the time - but, she's quickly turning into a person he genuinely likes. so there's that.

 

────

 

they have their first real fight five months in.

it's _huge._

[he's surprised it took this long, given that they are both so stubborn and hardheaded.]

the problem isn't the topic so much as what was said. she walks out with red eyes and a wall-rattling door slam; he hits the bag for too long in absolute anger.

it takes several days for them to sit on the same couch.

[when they were at the station, everyone knew something was wrong. dawson gave him a judgmental once over with a complimentary glare, everyone else pretended to look the other way and asked quietly if anyone knew anything about why kelly _wouldn't_ look at shay or why shay _couldn't_ look at kelly.]

in the end, she drops down beside him on the couch, he offers her a beer, and twenty minutes later it's water under the bridge.

 

────

 

her girlfriend breaks up with her.

dawson picks up the pieces and kelly prepares for drunken anger.

it actually works pretty well for all of them.

 

────

 

darden dies.

 

────

 

shay starts feeding his addiction.

he never thought there would come a day when he's asking the only person he trusts [beyond _everything_ ] if she could slip him something here and there for pain, but, here he is. asking her seemingly all the time for more.

he's got it under control though.

he knows what he's doing.

 

────

 

and, y'know, just for the record -

shay means the world to him.

he can't imagine his life without her in it, and that's something that any girlfriend will have to come to terms with.

[renée comes upstairs bearing coffee and a subtle complaint about overbearing roommates. he side eyes her and changes the topic.]

 

────

 

the accident changes everything.

he is _t e r r i f i e d_ because if she dies -

if she's _gone_ -

he doesn't know what he would do.

so he sits in the waiting room on the too-hard-and-all-too-familiar chair, paces for several hours, and gets lost in the chaos of everything.

losing shay is not an option.

 

────

 

dawson is fine and don't get him wrong, that's nothing but great news.

but she's looking at him with judgment in her eyes and they've never truly agreed on much, because he's too hot headed and she's too determined, but if there's one thing that brings them together it's the blonde paramedic they both call best friend.

but she's glaring in disbelief and he just wants for shay to be okay, he wants dawson to get off his back because there are more important things at stake here than -

he leaves the hospital.

 

────

 

[he goes home and _trashes_ his room. absolutely obliterates it.]

he needs help.

 

────

 

'i don't know what i would've done if anything happened to you,'

and it's true, because where in the hell would he be if shay died?

he would just.

no, you know what, _no_ , she's alive and breathing and right next to him, propped up with pillows and armed with ice cream, she is _fine_.

'i felt the exact same way.'

 

────

 

he's been living with shay for so long, it feels completely wrong to move out.

when clarice and the baby were living in the apartment, he was willing to bump out, if only to ensure the custody battle between clarice and her ex didn't get sticky because of a baby living with three people.

or something like that.

but now renée is expecting, and he's moving out and shay is looking for a new place and he's going to have a _family_.

sue him if he gets upset with his best friend for insinuating the baby isn't his.

 

────

 

except the baby isn't his.

and shay.

she just.

let's him back in.

without a second thought. she didn't even hesitate to go for the apartment with three rooms, doesn't hesitate to take him back in even after all these years of being a dick towards her.

because, that's who shay _is_.

willing to go through shit mood swings and crappy situations if it means she keeps everyone smiling.

 

────

 

there's an arsonist out there and everyone wants him to just sit back and do nothing.

to wait, as if getting more people killed is the only way to go about finding the asshole.

and how the hell that makes _any_ sense, he doesn't know.

it's affecting the house and everyone in it and okay, it may be their job to fight fires but it's _not_ their job to go into a burning building when they know the arsonist could stage something that kills them all.

[so it actually still is their job, really, but - but they wouldn't have to do it if the authorities would just _lock the bastard up_.]

 

────

 

it's hadley.

 _hadley_.

how is that-?

he can't even -

shay drags him out to a bar because before he can process and get over this, he needs to get wasted.

he's glad she understands him like that.

 

────

 

the call _ruins_ her.

she's not talking and neither is dawson so all he knows is what everyone knows - the guy blew his brains out right in front of them.

and he knows she's not okay and he knows she's lying through her teeth because he walked in the bathroom to see her just _frantic_ at the sink, and she didn't know he was there.

but she's shay and like hell she'll talk before she wants to, so he doesn't push.

 

────

 

pretty soon he realizes she isn't talking to dawson and it takes him too long - _far_ too long - to connect the pieces and realize she isn't talking to him, either, and he's pretty sure that means she's  not talking to anyone.

which, not good.

so he stares down otis and learns shay had a breakdown, and he's a body full of rage in the station before clarke pulls him to the side, lets him know he's keeping an eye on shay too, and he manages to wait until after shift to finally talk to his best friend.

[he makes her promise to come to him when things get too hard, when she starts to struggle, when she feels her chest tighten and she loses her breath. he hates for her to be anything less than okay.]

 

────

 

devon nearly sends shay over the edge and he almost lost katie and the world is just pushing too much at them too quickly, and it's not fair, because life never _is_.

shay's new ambulance partner comes and goes but at least she's talking to dawson again, and he's got katie back even though she leaves again. but they come back to _each other_ , they stop shutting each other out and just -

'i don't trust anyone in this world other than you.'

she hugs him tightly because when everyone else leaves, they have each other.

 

────

 

and in the end, it comes down to

_i'm sorry._

and

_i love you, you know?_

and

_i know. i love you too._

and

_we'll figure this out?_

and

_yeah, always._

they never figured it out.

 

────

 

_don't shiver, don't give up_

_don't quiver, you're enough_

_you will be just fine_

_tonight_

_light a fire_ ║rachel taylor

**Author's Note:**

> i am a pitiful piece of trash crying under my desk but please be my friend regardless? [tumblr](http:/www.toskyewardandbeyond.tumblr.com)


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